Recognizing the control freak

By Kit Karson

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Many women are in controlling relationships. Some know it and others are in denial. Whether you are aware of it or not, the reality is, control freaks can cause you a lot of irreparable hurt that can last a life time. The longer you stay in this type of relationship, the worse you feel.
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People stay in abusive relationships for several reasons. The number one reason is that frequently, he has control of the money; his and hers. Often she does not work, or if she does, the wages won't support her. This leaves her feeling powerless.
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Controlling behavior can have all kinds of small things hidden behind the scenes. As the relationship begins, it seems as though you can talk forever and the sex is awesome. But, as the infatuation stage dies down, the controlling behavior takes over in bits and pieces until you wonder what you were attracted to in the first place. Just know that they aren't going to stop - it will get worse.
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He was so overly attentive in the beginning; that in itself can be a red flag. Behind too much attention can be lurking a need to control others; he must have something to control like a snake needs something to bite. Too much of anything in the beginning of a relationship should put you on guard.
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When a relationship is new, it is easy to "forgive" bad behavior and make excuses to others for it. This can range from caustic remarks, to put-downs, to immensely selfish behavior. Controllers must always be in charge and it is not so obvious in the beginning of the relationship.

Here are some of the danger signs:

- They cannot leave you alone even when you are at work

- They are overly possesive

- They find fault with your family

Controlling relationships are always a form of abuse whether it is what he says or how he treats you. You have to watch your behavior so that you don't upset him. When he gets upset, it is always your fault. With no exit plan in place, you feel stuck and begin to get depressed, trying to put on the happy face for the outside world.
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We have all run into the control freak, but most of us can spot it right away; usually the minute they let you know how wrong you are in conversation. Fully functioning adults don't hang out with people who try to bring them down in any way. Experience has taught them it never, ever works out well.

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